Love in All Seasons
by Fujimoto Ken
Summary: Kurogane and Fye decided to live together after their journeys. They now live as best friends in one place, but will that relationship develop into a more deeper one? A confession of love through time.
1. Spring: Fye's Love

This chapter (and the following others) are and will be formatted in a diary-like entry. It doesn't look like it but, it is, to tell you. First fanfic, pls. read and review...

Italicized- Character's message (the first part. you'll know who he is at the chapter's name)

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**Spring**

_I like this part of the year where the trees and plants are bursting with invigorance and life all over and people start to get busy preparing for this new season once again. Spring is definitely in the air._

_It hasn't been a long time yet that Kurogane and I are staying together in one place in a relationship. Although we're just friends, I hope that someday he'll found out what's really on to me about him. For him it maybe that we're friends but for me, it's not, not anymore… I just hope that day will come…_

One morning, I woke up in my bed as early as I can to prepare breakfast for the two of us. Still drowsy, I went down the stairs and went to the kitchen to prepare the dishes I would be making. When I went there, I saw bottle of beer and leftovers on top of the table. I wasn't aware that he drank last night. "Maybe, he was in a bit of a problem that's why he drank beer last night. But," I continued, "If he really did have a problem, he could have told me. I'm his best friend, anyway." I told myself. Still confused on what exactly happened last night, I cleaned the mess up and went to the preparation of the breakfast. I, being a good chef and a fast-handed person, finished the dishes in 10 minutes. I placed and prepared the dishes on the table and made way to the closest bathroom to take a bath.

As I took off my shirt, I suddenly remembered the mess outside, "why can't he just tell me any problem that he has?" I spoke to myself, "We're best friends, there's nothing wrong with that. Except that it's not like that to me…" I took off my pants together with my underwear and proceeded on taking a bath. I turned on the shower and watched as water flowed into my body, making me soaking wet. Suddenly, I heard a knock on the shower door.

It was he, Kurogane. He opened it and said, "Hey, you've been there for hours!"

I smirked then greeted, "Good morning, now if you'll excuse me, please step out of the bathroom and give me some privacy, would you?" I didn't face him Kurogane because I don't want him to see my body especially my…

He smirked, "Ah, I see what you're telling me. Go on, take your time."

He then walked away from the room and closed the door. I then gave out a sigh. I don't know what he meant on that statement but he certainly made me erect on the wrong time. I tried to conceal it with my bathrobe as I went up the stairs and changed my clothes.

* * *

When I was about to go to my room, there was Kurogane, on the door, obviously waiting for me.

"Why?" I asked him curiously, as I approached him.

"How as it?" he asked. It was about that thing at the bathroom.

"Stop fooling around," I said. I pushed him through his chest, pushing him away from the door he was blocking. I made way inside my room then immediately closed then locked it just before he could enter my room.

"Ouch, that hurts!" he exclaimed. I opened the door to see what happened.

"What is it now?!" I said.

"I slammed my nose to the door!" he replied.

"Well, it's your fault for being a fool for entering a man's room who's about to change clothes!" I angrily replied.

"Are you a girl, Fye? Girls are the only ones who close their rooms when they change clothes. I mean, we're both guys here. There's nothing wrong with that!" Kurogane said, laughing. It made me angry that I slammed the door once again. It made Kurogane's nose to slam on the door again.

"Ouch!" he shouted, "Hey, open this!" He knocked very loudly but I didn't mind it.

I proceeded on changing my clothes. When I was done, I sat in my bed and waited for him to say the magic word, "Sorry."

"Hey, I'm sorry, ok? Please just open this!" he pleaded shortly. I chuckled. He seemed like a guy who has just been dumped by his girlfriend and continues to plead to tell him what the reason was. I then stood up and opened the door with a smile on my face.

"Hey— what's funny?" he asked. I just chuckled again. Kurogane turned irritated that he suddenly tackled me so hard that we fell on the floor, he above me.

"What's so funny, huh?!" he asked. I continued to chuckle then later on, laugh. He stood up, clenched his fist on my clothes near the neck, and looked at me angrily.

I paused from my good laugh then said, "It's nothing." He let go of me and went down the stairs as if nothing happened.

* * *

We always had these kinds of quarrels, childish quarrels actually, that led to this. He always gets serious right after the quarrel but he usually acts stubborn as if he's still a child when we're not fighting. "Ah, he's in it again." I said. "Hey, wait up," I stood up, went down the stairs, and found him watching TV.

"Hey, aren't you hungry? Breakfast's ready." I asked him, as if we didn't quarrel.

"I lost my appetite. Go eat by yourself," he grumpily said. I then took out two plates and placed food on them. He then looked at me, seeming that he was hungry already but pretending to not act like it. I looked back but he retracted his sight.

"Why did you look?" I asked. "Why, is it wrong to look?" he grumpily replied.

"I know you're hungry already," I said. When he looked at his back, he saw me carrying two plates. I then placed one of it in front of him and then I sat near him.

"I won't eat that mess!" he exclaimed.

"Hm, but it's very delicious, "I teased. I then took a spoonful and ate it. He looked back then suddenly, his stomach grumbled. I then took a spoonful again and circled it on his eyes to try to tempt him.

"This tastes delicious." I said. I then put it in his mouth. He chewed it very slowly and he swallowed.

"What do you think is it. hm?" I said.

"It's… it's…"

"It's what?"

"It's delicious." He then started chomping on the food on the plate and when he was finished, he even took more. I smiled at him.

He noticed it quickly and said, "What's that for?"

"Nothing, just nothing…" I replied gently. "It's nothing… "I said to myself.

* * *

That afternoon, I stayed on my room, lying on my bed while thinking about things. He was downstairs, watching TV again. I was drawing figures in the air, as I looked in the ceiling, completely bored. I suddenly thought about what I saw that morning. It was still stuck in my mind and it kept me thinking. I decided to ask him on that moment but before that, I told myself, "I better get a shower first." And so, I went immediately on my room's bathroom and too a quick shower. When I was about to finish taking a bath, I heard a knock on my room's door and later on, I heard it open.

Suddenly, he spoke." Hey, can I stay here for a while?"

"For what?' I asked him loudly.

"Nothing," he replied. I then went outside with a towel wrapped around my waist, still a bit wet. He was sitting on my bed and he looked like he was deeply troubled by something. It was a bit unusual to see him like that.

"Hey, can you go out for a while? I'm just going to change clothes," I said.

He suddenly smiled and said, "Do you really need to change like that? You really look like a girl!"

"Oh, sheesh, here we go again," I said. "Can you just go out for the sake of one's respect to avoid fights, will you?" I was about to take a step when I suddenly slipped due to the very wet floor , making me to fall so badly that the towel wrapped around my waist accidentally fell off. I found myself straddling completely naked in front of him. He looked at me and started laughing. I blushed. I don't know if he was laughing because of the accident or because he saw my… I immediately took the wet towel and threw it at him.

"Hey," he laughingly said, "no offense!" I quickly got into my knees and stood up. He tried to help me but I pushed him away. Again, after I pushed him, I slipped. I held at his collar and so he was pulled too into my fall.

"Why did you do that, huh?!" he reacted. He fell right on top of me. He looked at me with an angry face and I looked back like I was the one surprised. I blushed even more. He easily noticed it and said,

"Hey, you're —" Even before he can finish the sentence, I stopped him.

"Don't move," I ordered, "please, don't move." I was on the verge of getting a full erection at that time, unexpectedly. One little move and it will occur.

"Why?" he asked.

"Just don't move!" I said as I kept my blushing face.

He suddenly smirked and said, "Hehe, you're blushing!" He poked me on my cheek. He moved so it led to that thing I wasn't even expecting to happen. From that point, I got an erection, to the fullest. He felt it in some way I didn't know. My breath started getting fast and I also started perspiring, Suddenly, I saw his face go surprised when he felt the small bump touching the front of his pants. He looked down and he was surprised with what he saw. He suddenly diverted his attention to me.

I couldn't keep a straight look in his eyes with what he just saw. I suddenly felt his warm fast breaths and I felt the fast throbs of his heart. I saw perspiration forming from his face. Later, I felt his head slowly getting close to mine. I quickly closed my eyes of what I think is about to happen.

Suddenly, I heard him laugh at me and said, "You wouldn't think that I was about to kiss you, would you?" He then immediately stood up and gave me a hand as if nothing happened. I grabbed on to his hand and stood up myself. The moment I could stand already, he turned his back and told me, "Wear a towel, will you?"

I didn't mind it. I just stood there.

_Why did he attempt to kiss me?_

_Why did I felt his heart beat faster?_

_Why did I felt something behind those harsh words, something that isn't harsh at all?_

_Is it possible that…?_

Suddenly, I called him, "Kurogane, it's ok now."

He then looked back. The moment he faced me, I pressed my lips firmly to his and hugged him tightly. His face was filled with shock. I pushed him against the wall and started undoing his shirts buttons. I then licked his collarbone, quickly going to the side of his neck. I whispered on his ear," I'm sorry."

He forcefully grabbed me by my shoulder and pushed me away from him the moment he heard me and said, "What the hell is that sorry for, huh?!"

Tears started to roll down my eyes. "I'm said I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, crying. I bursted from my feelings. I quickly hugged him and said," I'm sorry that I'm doing this to you… I… I…**I LOVE YOU, KUROGANE, I LOVE YOU**!!!" I felt a sudden rush of disgust throughout my self with what I just did. I thought he would be disgusted with me from that message I just said. But then, I felt his hands rub me on the back.

"Don't cry. Your face will get ugly," he said.

For the first time in my life, I have seen him look at me with such sincere eyes. I didn't know what that just made to me but deep inside, I felt I was caressed by a gentle but warm touch. He wiped off my tears using his hand, grabbed my hand, and placed it on his chest together with his. He looked deeply as if he was giving me a silent message. I was speechless. My sadness has been overcome by happiness. I gave him a tight hug. I then continued on undoing his entire shirt's buttons. After that, I fumbled on his on his trousers' button and quickly gave his cock a massage. Even before I did, I saw and felt it become hard. I gave him a little treat before going on the climax; I gave him a warm kiss. Surprisingly, he gave in to the kiss. He opened his mouth and let my tongue commence with his and allowing me to plunge in to his mouth, exchanging our fluids enjoyably. I don't really know what was on Kurogane's mind on that time.

_Did he really gave in to me or did he just do it for a reason? _

Whatever the answer was, I didn't let it bother me from my feelings. Shortly, I entered my hand inside his underwear and started rubbing the head of his dick between my fingers, which made him to be more violent in his actions, especially in the kiss. He became wilder. I felt the rushing of blood into his erection that made its occasional throbbing that made me excited. A while after, I broke from the kiss and knelt down on my knees, right before his member to do a quick job on it. First, I gave slow strokes and head rubbings that made him to shudder in the great feeling of tickling sensation. Later on, I started licking his head, going to the side of his cock down to its base. I suddenly heard him moan and saw his knees tremble quite a bit. I then began with the show. I penetrated his cock into my mouth, slowly at first but later on, quickly, while massaging his ball sac and occasionally, pinching it. I heard him gave out loud moans, they were music to my ears. I was getting excited already and so, I entered it deeper into my mouth until it already touched the roof of my mouth. I did it slowly for a lot of times and for the last stroke, load of precum bursted into my mouth. He was already gasping and finally, he came inside my mouth.

That was not the end. I swallowed the whole lot of it and got more accumulating at the tip of his cock. As I licked it one more time, more precum released on my mouth. I then stood up and proceeded on kissing hm, still stroking his erection again and again. He willingly gave in, opening his mouth and let the exchange of the hot fluid between our mouths. I tried to open my eye during the kiss to see what his reaction was. He had his eyes closed and he totally loved it. Later on, I ran my other hand down from his neck to his chest, where I gave his aroused nipple a slight squeeze. He was totally fired up and so I stopped from all my actions and pushed him to the bed. He lied flat on the bed, totally pumped. I then went straight to him and sat on his cock and inserted it inside me.

It was my first time to do that so it was very painful. I had a difficulty letting his big cock inside me for the first strokes. He looked at me as he enters and goes out of me with fascination. I know this was his first time having sex with a man and so was I. He loved seeing the sight of me opening my mouth and groans and moans, I looked hot to him. He then grabbed on to my member and started pumping it. It was tickling but it felt very good that it made me even more excited. He continued to rub on my member and shortly, I released. His hands were poured out by my precum. Suddenly, I saw him take his hand into his mouth and started licking it. I turned red. That made me even more excited and so I let him enter me deeper. Later on, he stood up, feeling he's close on coming, and hugged me as he started penetrating me deeper, harder and faster. He gripped me on my arms and started rocking harder and harder. I felt his body get hotter and hotter and his skin, turning red. He rocked harder inside me, shortly, he bit me on my ear and at last, he came inside me. Cum bursted inside me like a fountain that never seemed to stop flowing.

Suddenly, he kissed me. " What was that for?" I asked as I panted.

Even before he can answer, I fainted on his chest because of the fatigue. He laid me on the bed beside him and continued to brush off my hair away from covering my face. I didn't saw it but I felt him kiss me in my forehead gently.

He spoke," That's for your hard work today." I just couldn't move because I was too tired but I wanted to reply to him. A little while, I felt him hug me close to me and stayed with me as I slept...

_Together, we're now lost to each other..._

_-End of diary entry

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Watch out for the second chapter(duh, there's four seasons so there will be surely 4 chapters)_ Pls. review...  
_


	2. Summer: Faint Confessions

**Title:** _Summer: Faint Confessions_

**Summary:** With Fye's emotions going out of control, Kurogane was forced into an inner conflict within himself after the incident. As the facing of never before felt feelings came, revelations shown light. What has happened to Kurogane…

**Disclaimer/Warning:** I do not own any part of the Tsubasa Chronicles series, but I did write this fic. This is a male-to-male story (yaoi). If you are disturbed by the category, I suggest you find other stories.

**Other details:** Lemon/lime. Slash. No AU.

**Dedication:** my forgotten love

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_It has been four years since that one day, the day that'll forever stain the memory of one certain man. That image of a dim setting one near dusk, the unsettling state of being confounded and the conflicting thoughts of disgust and tolerance, all of this, I didn't expect to have been all in one man who was loved by his very own best friend, __me._

Everything is as clear as it once was four years ago. I woke up that afternoon with his head on top of my chest, asleep. Both of us had gone naked. Upon raising the blanket up, I noticed a white sticky fluid on top of my stomach. It sticked to that blanket covering our bodies, making it slightly wet to the touch. I also noticed the environment which did not seem to have changed since the incident. All was fine but there was one more thing I did not dare to notice: him. From what my sense could deduce, his body temperature seemed to have risen and his breaths were hotter than the usual; it was warm. For a few more moments, I just left our position to be like so, staring blankly at the ceiling as I listened to the sounding of crickets that afternoon. Wind passing in between the curtains soon invaded the silence of the room, but the moment stayed still. My body felt aches I've never felt as a warrior before. The additional pressure brought by the sleeping head did make it a little bit harder for me to move one muscle. I tried struggling but remembering the sleeping one in position, I kept still. I stayed longer for the next few minutes until I decided to finally stand up and clean up.

Downstairs, I sat by the garden with a cup of coffee. I left the whole house's lights off except that of the kitchen, making the atmosphere quiet but somewhat eerie. My newly-washed body smelled of soap and shampoo but the odor of the not-so-long incident kept wandering around my senses, unwavering. The steam coming from my cup of coffee continued blowing up, later on clearing to let my reflection be clearly seen even from afar. From the brown-reddish liquid contained in the cup, I drowned myself with thoughts I never thought I'd be facing while looking at a sad reflection. "What exactly happened?" I told myself. Moments of the happening flashed back quickly into my head. "Was it…really…?" I looked away. Lights from the far scenery of the city started glaring. Streetlights opened one by one and vehicles of all sorts soon passed my sight from my seat. The air grew noisier but a distinct silence kept still, surrounding the house in complete isolation. The disrupted question in my mind began coming back to pieces I can't connect. There were too many words, but none matched the others. The words flocked my head; they were all too many. The incident brought about so many questions I wanted to ask but none could fit into one simple question.

I was in an unsettling situation.

Hours and hours passed but nothing came out of my thinking. The person I was waiting for those whole times did not go down. I checked a couple of times but it seemed he was way down on a deep sleep. I've done everything to pass the time: cleaned, watched the television, ate and took in and folded the dry laundry. I waited, and waited, and waited but none happened. Just then, I decided to finally do something about the thing I've been thinking about. I brought the laundry basket and some cleaning equipment as an excuse if ever the time should arise.

Slowly and nervously, I went up the flight of stairs and quietly entered my room. At first, I really intended to clean up the mess around. Soon, after finishing, I attempted to wake him up and ask him. "But," I thought, "wouldn't this be too direct of an approach?" I felt something strange. I was never like this before. If ever someone did something to me, I'd wait until that someone apologizes to me. Unlike this condition, it's the other way around. "Am I…?" I shook my head vigorously. "This isn't happening. This is not me!" I thought. My heart began pounding loudly. Something was up that I can't understand. "You have to calm down. Wait downstairs and-". Suddenly, his breathing sounded like he was in pain. The breaths were heavier than before. I was alerted. I touched his forehead and, it was hotter than before. It told me he had got a fever. I suddenly rushed my hand through his hair and noticed it was still wet. His back also was on the same way. Then, the memory before everything of this began recapped on me; he just went out of the bath by the time everything happened. "No wonder he now had it. His back may have been exposed to this water for too long. I'm so stupid!" I said. I released him from the blanket, revealing his garmentless body. What I should have not seen was revealed into my very eyes, and was startled for a moment but I kept on with what should I do. I lifted him off the bed and tried to bring him inside the bath to bathe him with hot water.

Turning the knob for the water, I laid him down on the bathroom floor for a few moments then placed him inside the tub. It was inevitable for me to get wet since the faucet broke and the only source of water was the shower. Soon, my body became all wet but I ignored it because of the task I had in hand. Some soap and shampoo were lying beside the tub, so I used it for some quick scrub for the still-sleeping Fye. The warm water that came out of the shower felt exactly alike with his body warmth. As I scrubbed soap into his body, he remained motionless, careless of whatever is happening on his body on the physical world outside his dream lands.

The situation felt very awkward now that something else as awkward as it is now has happened. The touching of a body commonly restricted to a person of your kind of bestiality has just been crossed, and is continued to be crossed by my very hands as it explored down from his neck to the part between his legs. My hands repeatedly went up and down his body since some stubborn liquid just would not come off easily. The recurring actions felt stranger and stranger after the other. It felt like some unknown, slumbering feeling within me is stirring and responding to such actions. "What are you thinking, bastard? There is no reason for you to—"I disrupted the following words and brushed anything that has something to do with it off my head. The thought made me shiver in slight disgust. The repeated motion of my hands then ventured into his lean arms going back again through the usual paths.

The stirring feeling deep inside me then resurfaced, triggering an unexpected response to my body. My forehead started sweating and my breathing felt heavier. A strong sensation is trying to break out of my chest, and inside my pants. The garter of my undergarment seemed to have tightened, signaling it can no longer support the now quickly building immensity inside its accommodation. I held on to the garter for a while, trying to loosen up some space for the now hot towering bulge. My situation even grew annoying when I was not able to control my body functions anymore; it reached maximum energy. I immediately hurried to rinse off the soap from him and dried him off with clean clothing inside the bathroom.

Hurriedly, outside, I threw off the dirty laundry off my bed to the floor and dropped him gently on my bed. With some misplaced clothes I found inside my cabinet, I dressed him up and swiftly went to a position to deal with the tight situation. Facing away from him, I pulled down the zipper of my pants and released my throbbing mate. "Finally," I said. I did not think I could catch that thing off from such work. "You, man, have some problem you've got to deal with. Better keep that hell of a thought of your mind or else!" My conscience is driving my head in twists. I just can't think straight looking back from what just happened moments ago. What seemed to be an incident hours past now felt like just a second ago. I tried to wear it off and thought of what could I do to drive my situation off. I sat in a corner and wore off my trousers entirely to reveal the whole view of my lower body.

It was a perfectly nice position that I sat in front of a mirror letting me view my own striking appearance. Leaning my back on a nearby object, I held on to my tower and slowly started giving it tight and hard strokes with a powerful clasp of my hand. Looking at myself at the mirror back then told me it was the first time I had time to appreciate what I have been having all this time; a muscular physique detailed in every angle. Curves that define the slopes and downs of my body went down nicely and smoothly on my sides. The tan of my skin synchronized with the seemingly chiseled body structures that emphasized most of my body's features. My member is not that far off from the absolute perfection I describe my body with. From the stunningly large tip, its shaft remains its girth and sturdiness down to its base, composed of a length much more than the span of my hand lengthwise. It is quite meaty, like those homegrown cucumbers almost as thick as four of my fingers combined. The bright flushing of my mate somehow made my inside systems a little bit more excited, forcing me to flash out my tongue slightly to lick off a sweat drop from the sides of my head. Just then was my focus turned on to my face. The beautifully formed peak of my nose at the end, the chiseled chin and my eyes that stretched on a little at the sides made my entire figure into perfection. I started moaning lowly as I neared higher excitement and arousal. My hips rose from time to time as my breaths grow heavier and my heart faster. Suddenly, my eyes diverted to Fye's image being reflected on the mirror. He still slept on soundly, with the pain going on. I felt I was being the sinful and selfish one, leaving one in pain for one's pleasure. I stood up, raised my pants up and drove off some of the sexual feeling I had. I did feel guilty for having done so, but what else could a man do in such a situation? And though the cause was entirely new to me, still, I accepted it and dealt it like a man should. And I felt right about it.

From a nearby drawer, I drew out medicine and some other medical utilities that could be of use to him. The thermometer was the first check, I thought, so I went on and used it on him. A few seconds after, and I confirmed he indeed has a high fever. I sat down beside him for a short time and tried to fix his position without waking him up. He had one of his legs on top of the other so I stood up and attempted to lift the one on top. Immediately, one of his arms grabbed me by the neck and happened to bring me down beside him. His other body parts then went on random positions but we ended up practically face to face with the other. At first, I thought something would be happening again so I tried to struggle. But as I continued, he looked like he would not be doing anything and was rather just tired and deep asleep so I let go of my guard. But still, our body's arrangements were not very proper. I tried to brush off his arm that kept on embracing me but later on turned into a much tighter situation. Our positions were such in a way that his arms and legs were all facing left while I was facing right. My right knee was being sandwiched by his legs while his right hand being in front of us. There was enough space between our faces and a bigger space between our facing stomachs but something was not right: his left hand was pointing down my pelvic area, almost directly above my still aroused mate. Though there isn't much contact between the tip of his finger and my skin below, I was still able to feel a presence that should not be there. Again, my body started responding strangely to the stimulus. Breaths going heavy, my heart going faster and my body parts start perspiring. On top of that is the now reviving member of mine. The feeling now is slowly eating me with enough excitement I can no longer take. My body moved in a way it never used to. I moved up and went on a position where I was looking down directly below at him, our faces only a few distances away from each other. My knees and palms burying were deep at the cushion of my bed directly on his sides, pinning him. The man was still clueless of what was happening around him due to an unbelievably strong hold of his slumber. But, from the angle I was able to see him, he looked frail with the face of complete naivety. Only did then I catch a better glimpse of the person I was living and travelling with all this time.

His hair was like fine fibers of palely-colored silk waving smoothly to the tip. The shape of his face was like that of an adolescent male, trimmed yet not so intricate compared to a fully-matured look like mine. The features on his faces looked like misplaced figures that of a woman, delicately placed but matched the form of a head of man. This very physical view of his was what made his look unique yet still mesmerizing. My gaze went down from the top to the bottom. His body was a bit muscled, but not hiding the fact most of his body showed proofs of femininity. It was not manly as others do but it gave qualities obtained by most girls: a curvy body along the waist down to the hips. The pale white skin glowed like ivory under silver moonlight, toning well with the rest, complicating a much better view of him on me. As my eyes went back up, I was not able to help but noticed the slightly apart lips of his. The light of the room was dim and a bit glary, but I was able to percept a pinkish glaze off the tender-looking lips. My heart raced once again.

_Badump. _

_Badump._

Some sweat drops made their way from the sides of head falling down on the sleeping image of Fye. A sweat drop fell down into his lips, and upon landing, splashed as it wet the lips of the man.

_Badump. Badump. Badump. _

My heart raced again, harder. A sensation of deep desire has devoured my entire entity by that moment. An unstoppable force drove me, rendering my senses useless for the next following seconds and when I gained back control, my lips have gone deep into his. My eyes were tight shut and I was nervous, but it seemed the longing of my body was now satisfied, a feeling ever new to me. A rage of thoughts came rushing through.

"What are you doing, bastard?"

"You're kissing him a _him_!"

"Stop the heck you are doing!"

My mind was filled with so many thoughts. Deep in my heart, there was something else. _Never let go. _The feeling kept going louder and louder, echoing the words again and again inside my head. It went louder, later on defeating the thoughts that have been eating me. I forced my eyes to shut tighter as I pressed on harder and deeper in Fye's mouth. I lashed out my tongue, plunging in to the greater warmth I felt with him. The feeling kept on eating me, releasing greater force I have never felt before. And then suddenly, his eyes opened. Slowly, he began seeing light of what was happening. I flinched back upon noticing, with him doing the same thing. "I—I—I—" I quickly uttered, looking away. Making a quick glimpse of his face, I saw nothing but merely a drowsy looking one. "What's the matter?" he asked, with a dried throat-sounding tone. I wasn't able to answer. He crawled towards my sitting place and looked at me at the eyes with his. Grabbing my chin, he let me face him and said, "Is something the matter?" I immediately withdrew my head and faced my back, hesitant to answer. My move must have been misunderstood by him. By that time, there was nothing but silence. A great length of pause occupied the room. I expected an apology with that silence. With what happened, I felt abused, used and battered by my very own friend, my best friend. Somewhere deep inside myself lay a bitter feeling, a feeling that I cannot hold. And then there came those words.

"_I'm sorry, Kurogane…" _

Those words were the exact words I expected, the words that I wanted so much to hear to come out of his mouth. I felt I deserved that much. But suddenly, that same feeling from before reappeared. It echoed and echoed repeatedly.

_Never let go._

"Just what is this thing trying to tell me?" I thought.

_Never let go. _It repeated.

"What should I not let go?" I told myself.

_Never let go. _It reverberated.

"Just what is it…?"

A feeling at loss fed on my mind. There were too much things going on inside my head.

_He has done a despicable thing at you_.

_He has done you wrong. _

_He is tricking you. _

_He has deceived you._

"He?" I asked myself. "Who exactly is that he? He can't be Fye… He can't be… He can't… be…?" My thoughts suddenly changed. "Why can't it be Fye? Fye made a terrible thing at me so he definitely is that _he_." I now thought. My mind and my chest felt like warring states. A thought battled with something on my chest. A feeling deep inside me is resting and wants to be revived but what was it… As I thought deeper, a touch startled me. _It was it! _ My heart exclaimed. I looked back and tried to know the source. It was Fye. "Fye…is that feeling…?" A sudden flash made into my mind.

_Never let go. Never let go. Never let go. _

My heart and my mind made it into rhythm. _Never let go. _Finally, I found light. Fye is the answer... Fye is the reason…

Fye is…_my beloved one…_

Swiftly, I grabbed him and pinned him on the bed once again. With my arms so eager, I embraced him tight on my arms in great excitement. "I'll never let you go," I told. "But—Kurogane, I—" He tried to say but I interrupted. "Forget what you did. Forget everything. Just let me stay this way with you. Let me hug you like I'll never let go of you. Let me touch you like I always wanted to. Let me love you like I have supposed to…" I said, letting go of him and closing in my face with him, "Fye, I love you and I'll always do."

His eyes widened and were later full of tears. "I," in continuation, I said, "will let you touch me as much as you want. We'll spend nights and nights just so I can show you how much I love you."

"But how—" He again attempted to speak but I interrupted, in great excitement.

"I've been feeling something for you long before this day has come. I, at first, mistook it for a search for greater companionship with you but now, I realized it was something more than that. It's something more than just being with you as a friend. I wanted you… as my lover…" Intimacy spread and took over my body in a frenzied state. Upon concentrating my eyes for a moment at him, I divulged again with the pleasure of kissing him. We locked on our heads together as the kisses grew harder and better. One hand held the other while another explored the body of the other. Slowly but intimately, we spent the night together, lost in each other's charm. And then heaven came …

On my arms he fell asleep soundly after our dreamy session together, like a child resting under a father's arms. Our bodies were showered with radiance bluntly with only the lights of the near houses penetrating through the curtains. Wind blew freely across the room as it threw the curtains fluttering in midair. The surroundings were kept cold by the chilly breeze, but half of our bold bodies resisted with cloaks from the blanket. We just kept still with such a condition, enjoying every bit of the moment we were together that evening.

Onto myself, I just remade a mistake. I let my body remained stained by products of lovemaking with a man. I have grown into a person worthy of dishonor. I have crossed borders that I should have not.

But as I sit down here at the moment, reminiscing the event that greatly influenced my life, I came to realize one thing. "_So, what?" _Those are two simple words that already mean a lot together, just as I am with Fye as I lay put in one corner with him. A simple connection was established between our flesh and hearts, yet it brought an intricate set of things that brought meaning to our old, personal lives.

I let my body remained stained by products of lovemaking with a man. _So, what? _I have grown into a person worthy of dishonor. _So, what? _I have crossed borders that I should have not._ So, what?_ Right now to me, one man is everything. With that everything, we could traverse our own worlds. We could travel to distances no force could ever stop.

I may lose what was once my reputation, but seeing through a whole new perspective brought by the gleaming ray of the bliss of my life, I could start anew. I realized what was best for this chapter of my life: to recognize things I have never let to surface, simple things that could bring about the colors that brighten up your life. And in my case, it is Fye, the one I truly love.

This about covers everything I want to set free as I leave my struggling past behind. Living a life now with the prize I have longed for, I wish us all the luck we can.

-Kurogane

_P.S. Nee, Kuro-puu, I didn't know you were into writing diaries too ^w^. I liked how you write; you can even top me *pouts* It's so cute~_

_Love,_

_Your Darling~_

* * *

For this last part, if you can't figure out what exactly was it for, just imagine Fye sneaking inside Kurogane's room and reading this diary entry. He snuck in a postscript written by him before it will get thrown out by Kurogane.

Anyway, my apologies for not being able to write this story's second chapter (or rather not posting it). Unfortunately, the original second chapter was written a year ago, but it got burned. I became busy with personal and academic life, barring me from having the time to publish again. I'll try to write it again with the remaining memories of it from my mind and post it as the third chapter. I have gone through… hormonal changes so the flow of how the story goes may have changed, which I deeply apologize for if you liked my previous style.

Also, I'd like to note this would be the end of the angst chapters. (If you could notice, the story feels a bit gloomy.) There have also been changes around my spacing and my writing style. The following chapters would be a bit happier in tone.

And that's all I can say for now. I thank you for reading my story's second chapter. I wish myself luck I can start and finish writing my other planned stories and that I have entertained you in some manner. Good day!


	3. Summer: Bliss and Satisfaction

**Summer: Bliss and Satisfaction`**

**Title:** _Summer: Bliss and Satisfaction_

**Summary:** Now that the newly-declared couple has successfully treaded through troubled waters, life has been much easier for the two. The summer season has come and the two decided to go on vacation, with two unexpected guests. Kurogane's newly-found love for Fye is put into test with the line of unanticipated events…

**Disclaimer/Warning**: No mature content whatsoever for this chapter but there's still an awful lot of smexy male lovey-dovey.

**Author's Note:** I wrote this in response to my idol's works. There are bitter times, but I'm still giving it a go. Well, GreenCrystalRose-san, this is for you. To everyone else, I hope you like it~

* * *

April 21, 2012

_Phew, what a day!_

Hi! It's me again, Fluorite Fye. It's summer time already. See, I have been busy preparing for this sudden vacation dear Kurogane wanted. I have invested almost everything I had gained from the last few weeks. My salary, my efforts and even my physical and mental strength, all of them have gone drained just for this. I don't even know what came in his mind to plan something so sudden. It's not that I don't like it; in fact, I would want some break from work sometime later anyway. But, just how come I get to do all of these while Kuro-puu stays put at the house, with nothing but the company of the television and game consoles…? Besides, I haven't been able to write well because of him. I just can't believe he is doing this to me; it is so unfair… He is being way too abusive of me…

Speaking of abusive, mind me, he has been doing a lot of _physical _abuse too towards me. Every night from the past couple of days, he has been transferring from his room to mine and sleeping side by side with me, claiming excuses like he was "scared" and he felt very "lonely". He would often tease me and ask kisses and hugs from me. Eventually, our nights would turn out to be sleepless ones. It has also been increasingly suspicious of him to do the cuddling after I have seen his diary from a few weeks ago. Since that day, he oddly started acting a bit off from what he usually was. Normally, he would yell at me and argue about it for hours but strangely enough, he didn't. Instead, he gave a quite, how do I say this, calm and sincere smile that seemed to have touched me in some way. He grabbed my hand afterwards and just locked the door, finishing the moment with a "Just remember to ask permission first." He then again smiled and left for downstairs.

I was honestly shocked by such big change from him. I do feel I played a great part of this change to him but one could never expect that was that much. I have seemed to make him open up himself and find the greatest reason he was looking for. And I am happy that it turned out to be me. I just feel like regretting the part that made him…libidinous. It has caused me terrible numbers of pains in my back, and it is killing me up until now.

My complaining aside, I guess I could tell my efforts have all paid off. We rode a series of boats and buses, crossing clear, blue rivers and treading roads that pass through golden fields. After a few hours of travel through land and sea transportation, Kurogane and I have finally reached our destination: the land of our dreamt vacation, Soma Resort. The moment the both of us went off the last boat, the scenery has caught our hearts. The sand underneath our feet was of a pure white scene, filling the imagery of the beach with an outstanding glory. The clear waters near the coast reflected the bright blue color of the sky up high, together with the radiant sun rising proudly that created a perfect symmetrical view of heaven and earth. Lush greeneries swayed gracefully with the ever-zealous breeze accompanied by the vigor of the people that have already set foot on our very destination. All there was in our mouths was a "wow".

It took a moment for us to arrive at our cottage. At our first go to move around right after leaving the boat, we have found ourselves lost on some places we didn't expect to get on. The place was huge and every corner to be seen was a pleasant feast for the eyes, after all. It has also been some time since the two of us has ever made it out this far from the house we chose to settle in after our travels. I repeatedly suggested asking for someone for directions since ultimately, we were lost trying to follow his self-proclaimed sense of direction. But in the end, it still ended up the same: I getting dragged around. At first, it was amusing for him to take the initiative. Soon, I grew tired and annoyed but after longer moments with him, I realized there was something else he seemed to be trying to imply.

Care.

He unexpectedly displayed this on me even just for that little while. The warmth of his hand flowing through mine and the firm grasp has identified and confirmed this meaning to me. Even if it was insanely long and has grown irritable over time, I have learned he has been giving a different kind of effort parallel to mine and his presence existing near mine was a proof he felt paying for the old missed times. He looked back at me for several times. His eyes stared emptily but it was reassuring.

Soon, on a rather lengthy and perspiring walking, we reached our cottage. It was indeed far from the shore where we came from. Somehow, I felt guilty doubting Kuro-puu. He gazed at me with a powerful, stinging feel as though he was boasting his success. I quickly retracted my face, looking to the side to find an excuse. _Gulp._ There went in a sudden fear. _"Kuro-kun must be mad at me; I must apologize!" _I froze. I heard heavy footsteps coming from my side, hot breaths of what I imagined coming from a flaming something drew near and an eerie aura was coming close. _"I just know he'll be so angry at me; I'm dead!"_ Quickly, I woke and sharpened my senses and put my body to work. It was a situation with great necessity for speed. It was a chance for me to run for my life. It was— Immediately, I shut my eyes and wished for the best, feet almost staggering to move away from the monster that is Kurogane. I— _Whoop! _My time was over. Kurogane's agile arm quickly embraced me from my neck which locked my head close to him. It was doom for me. He immediately raised his other arm and tousled my hair, creating an almost childish scene before others. I heard some girls squeal with joy as Kurogane actually dragged me inside the cottage. It left me an embarrassing wide red mark in front of my face. Include my hair that looked like I didn't comb from the moment I woke up. It was painful too…

"Kuro-myuu, you're so mean!" I ranted like a child whining against his toy. "You're so mean; you're so mean!" My eyes were hindered by the sleeve of his shirt when he embraced my head the time we have entered. I have only seen the cottage well when he dropped me at the bed. "I told you, just trust me." He replied. It was not the kind of reply I was expecting, but it had to do. He lay comfortably by one side of the bed, with one knee raised and both arms crossing at the back of his head. By the look of his eyes, he seemed familiar of the place. In fact, he really did feel like he knew the place. I couldn't help but ask. "Nee, Kuro-koi, you look like you know this place. Have you been here already?" He quickly answered, "No, but I did some research about this place. Quite a hard find but it's all worth it." He continuously rolled his eyes around the place with a smile symbolizing interest and success on his face. His gesture was quite like that of a man successful from an evil deed, and it felt very awkward. To break the silence, I just forced a chuckle, feeling even hesitant if it really suited the environment. It just felt very strange for the whole room to be quiet even with the numerous lots of people roaming around outside.

I decided to do the fixing and to take the chance to roam around as Kurogane stayed put longer than I expected. Our baggage really wasn't that much, just two large travelling bags and two loaded backpacks with an additional paper bag as wide as a television screen. For just the two of us, it seemed pretty normal, with me leaving only a quarter of the baggage for Kuro-moi's personal belongings. He always kept his packaged things near him so the only things left for me to arrange were all mine. Carrying more than half of the luggage, I looked for the closet which I found somewhere near the bathroom. The views that welcomed me were nice, and probably that was all they can get. The surroundings were kept at their usual sparkling clean state and the place was studded with the hues of white all over. White bed sheets, white curtains, white decorations, everything was just all simple, clean and nice. The place was amazingly broader than I expected from what Kuro-moi introduced to me at his stories. It was like our whole house contained into one spacious flat. Fortunately though, the place was not as expensive as it was wide when I had it reserved. It was not much to look at, but it would do. The bathroom was all just the same, though it had more of an island feel to it on its first look.

Meanwhile, outside, Kurogane has looked like he has done his own preparations as well. The mighty sound of wind entering through what seemed to be open windows and flapping curtains sounded even inside my position. A brief soothing breeze went by the small grills inside as well, as if it was inviting my senses to the charms of the outside. I found myself strangely responding to its allure as I realized I have gone outside already, catching a glimpse of the wonders outside from the bedside window. "It's beautiful…" I exclaimed. "Isn't it?" A voice behind me came forward. Soon, I found Kurogane embracing me with hands resting at each side of my hips, close enough to make me tremble.

"There's supposed to be a part of the beach available only at this part of the resort," Kurogane stated. He stared somewhere afar beyond the trees covering the view, and it seemed like there was indeed a cloaked portion of the resort. Patches of clearer blue waters peeked through the branches and leaves of the swaying trees. Kuro-puu then laid his head on top of mine. "Shall we go?" He gave a quick squeeze on the skin below my navel.

"Hey, that tickles!" I jolted. His arms' grasp of me was too tight for me to slip away. I looked up at him, him showing a wicked smile I knew so well. He closed his eyes shut and briefly showed a somewhat cute expression of closed eyes and pouty lips, like the one I've seen from Mokona before. He gave my hair a nice tousle with his own face and looked like he sniffed it for a while. I felt yet another squeeze, though harder and stingier. That was enough for me to complain.

"Would you stop that?" I told angrily. He lifted his head from my head and instead went for my neck, still with the cuddling. I didn't know what exactly to feel at that time. It was a combination of unsettling and ticklish, and of teasing at the same time. I tried to get away from him but his grip of me was still tight. "C'mon, it's been a while since we've been like this," he said while still busy with the tickling.

I admit, it has been a while indeed since we had that kind of moment. Setting the post-virginal experiences aside, it really has been a long time since we have approached each other in the same friendly manner, although it's very unusual to even call it a very "friendly" approach. I took the chance to ask Kurogane about it but a sudden change of his movements happened. I felt one of his hands slowly trying to reach my chest. playing circling trails around one of my nipples. The other simply itched to go below the belt, squeezing its way through my tight underwear.

I know I haven't been abstaining from his sexual innuendos these past few days; nobody could ever will, if they could be me. With this pushy and childish excuse for an adult, one would simply can't. But I simply can't afford letting him to push me to the extremes once again this time. It was kind of hard for me, quite literary because of position, but I took all the courage I can gather and resisted as much as I could: the first time I have ever tried in my life. (Honestly, how much more pathetic could I be not to think resisting him before…? I feel ashamed of myself…) With my weakening arms, I tried to form a space between us. He continued to force in his actions and in the end, it resulted to nothing; I was still hugged by him. I sighed.

"Why the sigh? Don't you like it?" Kurogane stopped for a moment, looking at me. _"This is your chance, go on; ask him now!" _My conscience insisted. With another sigh, I started, "Nee, can we do this some other time? We really shouldn't be doing it right now." The words came out of my mouth gently but with sure great impact. His hands then withdrew and a little gap between the two of us became available. It seems he understood what I meant.

"It's not like you to complain," he said. He sulked. That cheered me up. That only meant he was still okay after what I said, one of the many things I know so well from him. In appreciation, I displayed a huge grin and drew nearer to him to give a kiss instead. He rapidly looked down on me, face to face, and leaned forwards as he has expected what I was about to do. Closely, I tipped my toes and arched my body into full stretch to reach the ever-so-tall Kurogane. "Shall I?" I said. He did not respond verbally, but the light look on his face seemed to permit so I closed in for one brief kiss. A very short contact happened. Liquids transferred swiftly between our mouths and tongues lashed out hurriedly as I withdrew back. Kuro-poi sure was in for more, but I only left a "tongue-sticked-out" expression before heading back to the bathroom again. "I'll be back in a moment." I finished.

It took me some while to get off the bathroom. When I went out, I found dear Kurogane sleeping comfortably at the floor of the living room. He had his shirt taken out, probably because of the heat of the place I didn't feel while inside the bathroom. He was snoring, quite unusual really, so I decided to go out for the meantime, just alone. I found it a nice time to just be with myself with no worries or whatsoever. With a final check on him, I left out of the door of our room and slipped silently to not wake him up. "I just hope he won't notice…" I said to myself. I tiptoed for a few steps, then a few steps more and then again until I reached a staircase leading into some higher ground I haven't seen yet. I clung on to one of the stair's fences on the side when I was distracted by some familiar voice not so far from where I stood. Or so I thought.

"You cheater!" A clear voice shouted in full volume. Everyone was alerted by the loud scream and it just happened all their eyes turned on me, a very humiliating experience I never thought to have happened to me… Soon from the dark parts of the building came the appearance of a monstrous being that is tall, dark and, well, undeniably handsome. I was caught! _"Darn!" _He was still shirtless; I was a bit sweaty. His eyes were teeming with some feeling that appeared to be angry and I looked very innocent and oblivious to anything that just happened. That was a perfect scene for a lover's quarrel, no?

Unfortunately, yes, it was. At least to everyone else who was present at that time to hear the situation. At that moment, I felt like burying my face deep into the sand beneath my feet, just like how an ostrich would do in the same situation. But no, it wasn't a very good idea. All attention were frozen, focused only at the both of us. It felt like time stopped itself. Luckily, there were only a few people nearby. Though, I was at the extremes of shame. And Kurogane felt nothing of the slightest. I felt like crying…

Sharply thinking, I gathered up all my strength to form one single sentence to explain everything and to dismiss the audience. But before I was able to, one familiar figure suddenly came in. "Fye-san? Kurogane-san?" It said. Yet another tiny figure of the same sentiment closed in, aggravating the situation. "EH?" The bouncy figure exclaimed.

"Syaoran-kun, Mokona? What are you doing here?"

_Gulp._

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Have you noticed my writing style yet? It seems off… Oh well, I'd appreciate reviews. :D Belated happy birthday to me~


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